We are planning our escapes from Baltimore. She says the only thing that would keep her here is me. I try not to think about her moving away. I love her, but I know that right now, she and I aren’t meant to be…not at our current maturity levels. She can’t get pass some past issues where I can and have. I’m going to miss her…and my heart right now is aching. I am trying to complete my school work…and yet my mind refuses to focus on the words I’m reading.
I can feel her…skin, breath, eyes on my body. Why does this woman make me love her so damn much? Why was she able to get through to my heart so easily? I feel like I can’t breathe with out her. She’s moving next year to help her mother out. I know her leaving will help us let go, but right now I don’t want to…and then there are times that I do.
This love we share is so strange to me. I’ve never loved someone (outside of my children) as much as I love her. She’s annoying sometimes, but I love her annoying ass with everything in me. If I could prevent her from experiencing anything that could hurt her, I would without a 2nd thought.
I’m sitting here screaming on the inside because I can’t gather the voice to do it out loud. It’s strange isn’t it. How can someone annoy you so much with their immaturity make you love them even more than they annoy you?
It’s confusing as hell…but I love her.